What If?

What if we stopped worrying about getting ahead or being more successful and focused on being whole?  This question was asked on Oprah a while back--ironic I know because Oprah is one of the most successful people ever but it is something I have thought about a lot lately.  Don't worry...this isn't an Oprah post...

In my quest to figure out my new roles in this world I have been confused several times...but lets go back a step further.  In high school and college I remember the most constant prayer I had.  I would beg God to tell me what my calling was.  I was (am) smart, knew I would go to college, but had NO idea what I wanted to be.  I always thought about law school or being a principal or high school counselor *did I ever tell you that, Janet?!  But nothing was especially clear.  I went to college, made good grades, loved my college job at the bank but didn't see a future there and then landed a pretty amazing dream job weeks after graduating college!  Ok, God...maybe you didn't let me into your grand plan but at least you had a plan!!  Thanks!!  So I just figured sometimes He puts it in black and white and sometimes he just strings us along awhile for a good laugh...but at any rate, I was happy and so glad I found something I loved and was really good at!  It still didn't seem like a calling though....

Twenty months ago, my world as I knew it would change forever.  I became a mom.  Although I have never been the "stay-at-home-mom type" and had no intentions of doing such a thing, the minute Dr. McDreamy put the little squirmer in my arms, I could feel it in my heart and soul...this is what I am meant to do--even though I have no idea how to do it. 

Over the next few months we tossed around staying home/going back to work over and over and over.  Fortunately for me my job gave me 6 months leave to be home.  Obviously the main discussion when discussing giving up a salary is "can we afford it?" I remember telling Tyler, sell my car, sell the house, sell everything!  I cannot leave her with someone else!  We all know how the story ends, I resigned to be a full-time mommy and have never looked back.  Although I have felt the need to somehow "earn my keep" or keep my resume up or just feel like I am contributing to the family. 
After a VERY brief stint doing a contract job from home, I realized I AM contributing.  I get no paycheck, but I definitely do more than my fair share of "work".  I am raising our daughter, making sure she is shaped into the kind of woman she should be.  Showing her so many things, spending this time I can never get back with her, volunteering, helping those less fortunate than us, helping out our families when they need it, spending time in fellowship with other mothers who share the same value system I have.  Snuggling, home cooked meals, homemade gifts, holiday learning and crafting, baking...There are so many things we do that I know Paige will be so thankful for as she grows up.  After preaching to Tyler the whole time we dated and after we were married that he wasn't marrying a Suzie Homemaker so if that was what he wanted, he better look elsewhere!  Well, I had all of those conversations for lunch and I am so thankful my husband embraced me being a stay at home mom/wife and I don't think he could imagine it any other way now! 
As I reflect on the day Paige was born, looking into her eyes, I realize that God was answering that prayer I prayed so many times since I was a little girl.  "Please show me what you want me to do with my life!"  I NEVER dreamed of being a stay at home mom and LOVED every second of my big, fancy career and still am so thankful for being so blessed at such a young age, taking private jets around the country to make deals.  Although this gig is less glamorous, I can't imagine my life any other way and have never felt more content! 

I hope this doesn't come across as a Power to The Stay at Home Mom Protest.  Most of my mom friends work and I intended to work.  A happy mom is a happy home.  If mom wants to work, she should definitely work!  If mom wants to be home, I hope she is able! This is merely a display of a 25 year old prayer that was answered LOUD AND CLEAR!  I love stories of answered prayers and hearing God speak and this was a big moment in my life so I thought I would share it! 

Thank you Lord for answered prayers.  Thank you for showing me each and every day the plan and path you have for me and my family.  Thank you for Heaven's greatest gift-a child.  Thank you, thank you Lord for a husband who loves us, provides for us, is such an incredible father, has a heart of gold, doesn't get mad when I don't clean the house perfectly because we decided to play all day and didn't feel like it! Thank you for leading me to be a good mom, wife and friend. You are everything and we are so thankful and grateful. Amen